Journal #8: Listening Self-Assessment

 When it comes to listening, I'm a mixed bag. I wouldn't consider myself a super effective listener, but I'd also struggle to say I'm an insufficient listener. When speaking one-on-one with another person, I feel as though I actually listen less intently than if I were sitting down and writing notes for a presentation. 

Listening to an instructor or presenter is easier for me because I am not "on the spot" as much as when I am talking with just one person. I feel a lot less pressure on me when sitting down and not actively engaging in a conversation, which makes it easier for me to pay attention to what someone is saying. There is less pressure to look enthused in what they are saying because they have such a large audience that one person makes no difference to them.

On the other hand, when it comes to speaking with just one person and listening to what they are saying, I find that I focus less on what they are saying because I have a tendency to get stuck inside my head. There are a lot of components that are irrelevant to a listening situation with a teacher or presenter but are vital to a one-on-one interaction, and I always struggle to focus on the other person's words because I am too caught up on making sure I hit all the bases for looking interested in what they have to say. For example, I know that eye contact is important in communication, so I'll stare at someone as they speak but then realize I was so focused on looking attentive that I didn't actually absorb any of the information they were giving me. Or, likewise, I'll spend too much time catering my body language, facial expressions and head nods that all the information goes through one ear and out of the other. I spend so much time stressing about looking like a good listener that I fail to actually be one.

That being said, I believe my style of listening falls under the content-oriented type. That's one reason why I love note-taking: it helps me look over the information provided and decide whether the content was effective or not. Though, to be honest, time-oriented is not too far off the mark. One thing I despise is when people beat around the bush and spend a long time building up to their main point instead of stating it outright. I like when things are clearly stated and leave no room for confusion, which long speeches often do.

Fortunately, my listening ability complements well with my friends' listening styles, so with them I do not have much of a problem. Because they too are not the best at appearing engaged and have similar struggles to mine, we find that we are able to communicate better. However, I know I still have room for improvement with strangers and speaking one-on-one with them, which is something I hope this class can help me with.